The little things might be insignificant but they might even help you staying away from insanity. Such little things like good classic songs, praises from people around you, or that old colleagues with whom you can laugh together.

Soundtrack: I Will Go To You Like The First Snow by Ailee (from 도깨비)

Even laughing together completes everything – it can mean you have things in common to see how the world works in a similar way. Not everyone is blessed to meet that one special person, not even as friends. Some people are not blessed for their nasty fate on that area.

What I mean to say is, I always find little things special. They are named little by people, not by me, therefore we are never in a right position to judge someone else. Life is art: if nobody understands you then you just need to keep on going hard – as long as you don’t hurt anyone or break the laws – things, no matter how small and slight for else to see, is always an accomplishment.

Love in Marriage

If love – according to “religious” folks – is not required to begin and live a marriage life, why is it that any issues about it always contain at least one solution related to romantic relationship?

Example 1.

Natalia and Andika are hit by a boredom in their marriage. Having no children, they live their daily routines from waking up in the morning, to going to work, then to going home in the evening, as plainly usual. They still talk, laugh, or watch TV together – so the monotony feeling starts to hit.
People will advise: try to do the fun stuff you used to do before you got married (or the beginning of the marriage), to build again warmth and affection.

Example 2.

Imelda is terribly sad to have recently caught her husband, Hendi, often communicates with his ex-girlfriend through a modern messaging application. While communication is not a problem, she is annoyed that Hendi keeps dropping affectionate words and mischievous acts to that woman. He turns angry when confronted and adds that Imelda has no right to checks on his phone without his permission, and since all her prejudices have no basis, he does not consider this as a crucial thing to discuss.
People will advise: the wife is probably becoming less intimate in daily basis (or in bed) so the husband flirts in the outcome. Try to be more passionate about being together, as a just-married couple. Try to be gentle and warm towards your partner. For husbands, be aware that sometimes the grass indeed is greener – but nevertheless, be grateful for what you have. With gratitude, your life will be more valuable.

Example 3.

Caring for her children makes Nadia physically weary. She is tired with her office works – then gets home to still take care of her little two. Cooking, washing, and everything. When Daud, her husband, returned, he doesn’t feel so good to see the cluttered house. Even Nadia’s appearance is. He was not welcomed properly, and she speaks as needed. Daud is gradually suspicious that his existence is no longer wanted.
People will advise: speak from the heart, in the bed perhaps, before falling asleep. Hug your wife/husband. Declare your emotions. Try to understand the advantages and disadvantages to each other. Communicate more. Then end with sex. Isn’t sex one of the “elixirs” in solving the marriage problems?

I do not need to say more – there is a million solutions addressing a marriage’s complications, but this one keyword is surely guaranteed to be listed – and even my belief also advises: in building a marriage commitment, the attitude of love is an essential absolute.

The attitude of love in reality is usually done by those who are in the early phases of romantic relationships, where being sweet and affectionate to each other becomes their daily diet. Things that actually happen naturally between people who love each other. The problem is, so many people get married by ignoring the existence of love – especially those who are more concerning on other factors (which I need not mention one-on-one). If they can practice love during the high and dry of marriage days, it would be very nice. But if not, then be careful, because the absence of love would be a determinant in the viability of the fate of romantic relationships, a.k.a marriage relationship.

A Good Reason

I learn a lot from the old me. The mistakes I have made. The disasters I have caused. Once in a while I think perhaps I can just dismiss love from my choices, but turns out I cannot. In fact I need love. As a fuel, to make me happy, to be my reasons, to make me stronger.

The old me used to play with hearts, used to believe I can do anything and not minding the others who might care about me, especially when I was in the lowest phases that I kind of disliking the relationship I was in. My choices of act are getting lessen as I grow older.

Now I am in this serious, real relationship on which I would not easily give up just because of small things. Maybe I have a million reasons to leave – so many flaws, so many disappointments I have in mind. But no. Not this time. The old me would definitely say yes to another better choice. But the real me, me right now, as an actual human being at this period, learning from her experiences, for better or worse, absorbing her mistakes – chooses to stay – and it only takes one good reason.

Of all the good possibilities to say goodbye, I only have one very good reason to spend the rest of my days with you.