There was this old game called Doom, which first version was released on circa 1980’s. When I got my ability to play computer games at around junior high school times, I played the third installment of the popular first-person-shooter genre title and even if it could be classified as boy’s game I still loved it.

And since I was just a rookie back then, I always chose the easiest level called ‘I’m Too Young to Die’ because on more advanced level the monsters, trust me, were too horrifying, they looked and sounded more real and scarier than those latest games (I don’t really look upon the latest games though).

My younger brother, on the other hand, had to choose the hardest level, ‘Nightmare’, which I can recall WAS a nightmare, because the monsters from latter stages were already appearing on the first stage, and they wouldn’t stop firing horrible fires and deadly shots. It’s an impossible level.


WHAT I am writing here is not actually the review of the dead game.

On one of my favorite Medium writers Yann Girard, there is this one passage about the importance of experiences in life, which absolutely determining how they may results in one’s life choices. One who has got less experience and only acknowledge from books will never gain more success than one who has actually had tried — in fact, Mr. Who-Thinks-Theory-is-Everything will likely fail miserably.

Let me show an example here: Harry has never had a date before and he believes that he will be succeed in relationship because he reads a lot about it. He is too shy and unwilling to ask a girl out, or just to know them any better. And we also have Louis, who practically is a guy who has known a lot kind of woman, has done everything and learnt the mistakes and things to do, and understand how complex having a relationship can be.

Then they married the woman they choose. Both of their wifes are apparently a tough type of woman, who, despite their beauty and good manners, are at a glance got no compassion, care, and difficult to handle. The kind of woman that is special, seductive, hard to get, playing games at man just to know whether they are with someone special or someone to put into their blacklist note to.

Harry finds living with this kind of women hard. They never can talk right, they fight a lot, there is no intimacy, not even love, and the miscommunication is unbearable. She doesn’t and can’t love him. The days are filled with uncomfortable silences. He definitely cannot handle her and is feeling like giving up. And she doesn’t care of the relationship at all.

The other guy treats this differently. Because he’s got capability to deal with any kind of woman, included this one, he knows how to turn things upside down and make her love him, make her toss off her ego, and instead of asking or begging her to be a good wife for the relationship, she gives it naturally because she wants to.


THE Nightmare level is not to be played by anyone. It’s meant for those who are skilled, thoughened, knowledgeable. Because this kind of person knows the tricks, the hows, and it requires many branches of options, chances, creativity, out-of-the-box actions, things any books cannot offer, so they can defeat the level triumphantly.

So if you don’t know anything and never even play such a game before, playing the Nightmare level even just for a couple of steps will cost your life. You should either choose the more beginner-wise level or don’t play at all.

Crying is For The Weak

What will you be doing when you are lost in happiness of a sweet presence of someone you care about, then like a struck lightning that someone is just gone, without notes, without agenda, without news, without anything to make you less anxiety about the drastic changing?

The love and relationship gurus everywhere keep warning us ladies to just stay calm and let our man busy on their own way. That they just need their personal time or business and will come back to you when everything is done. To think positive. To not complain.

But what happened to me was a disastrous heartbreaking event.

I need not follow any of those lame instructions to know what I should had been doing. I kept thinking, when he was missing without giving me any clues, that he was out of the town and he was busy with family and all.

I never demand him to explain me any details.

I believed he would come back, burst in his sweet smile and say sorry that he couldn’t reach me because he’s got reasons. Enough reasons to shape my smile again. I lived my hours with the strength of that thought. With hopes. With positive mind.

The next three days, my friend told me that he was marrying another women.