Love in Marriage

If love – according to “religious” folks – is not required to begin and live a marriage life, why is it that any issues about it always contain at least one solution related to romantic relationship?

Example 1.

Natalia and Andika are hit by a boredom in their marriage. Having no children, they live their daily routines from waking up in the morning, to going to work, then to going home in the evening, as plainly usual. They still talk, laugh, or watch TV together – so the monotony feeling starts to hit.
People will advise: try to do the fun stuff you used to do before you got married (or the beginning of the marriage), to build again warmth and affection.

Example 2.

Imelda is terribly sad to have recently caught her husband, Hendi, often communicates with his ex-girlfriend through a modern messaging application. While communication is not a problem, she is annoyed that Hendi keeps dropping affectionate words and mischievous acts to that woman. He turns angry when confronted and adds that Imelda has no right to checks on his phone without his permission, and since all her prejudices have no basis, he does not consider this as a crucial thing to discuss.
People will advise: the wife is probably becoming less intimate in daily basis (or in bed) so the husband flirts in the outcome. Try to be more passionate about being together, as a just-married couple. Try to be gentle and warm towards your partner. For husbands, be aware that sometimes the grass indeed is greener – but nevertheless, be grateful for what you have. With gratitude, your life will be more valuable.

Example 3.

Caring for her children makes Nadia physically weary. She is tired with her office works – then gets home to still take care of her little two. Cooking, washing, and everything. When Daud, her husband, returned, he doesn’t feel so good to see the cluttered house. Even Nadia’s appearance is. He was not welcomed properly, and she speaks as needed. Daud is gradually suspicious that his existence is no longer wanted.
People will advise: speak from the heart, in the bed perhaps, before falling asleep. Hug your wife/husband. Declare your emotions. Try to understand the advantages and disadvantages to each other. Communicate more. Then end with sex. Isn’t sex one of the “elixirs” in solving the marriage problems?

I do not need to say more – there is a million solutions addressing a marriage’s complications, but this one keyword is surely guaranteed to be listed – and even my belief also advises: in building a marriage commitment, the attitude of love is an essential absolute.

The attitude of love in reality is usually done by those who are in the early phases of romantic relationships, where being sweet and affectionate to each other becomes their daily diet. Things that actually happen naturally between people who love each other. The problem is, so many people get married by ignoring the existence of love – especially those who are more concerning on other factors (which I need not mention one-on-one). If they can practice love during the high and dry of marriage days, it would be very nice. But if not, then be careful, because the absence of love would be a determinant in the viability of the fate of romantic relationships, a.k.a marriage relationship.

A Good Reason

I learn a lot from the old me. The mistakes I have made. The disasters I have caused. Once in a while I think perhaps I can just dismiss love from my choices, but turns out I cannot. In fact I need love. As a fuel, to make me happy, to be my reasons, to make me stronger.

The old me used to play with hearts, used to believe I can do anything and not minding the others who might care about me, especially when I was in the lowest phases that I kind of disliking the relationship I was in. My choices of act are getting lessen as I grow older.

Now I am in this serious, real relationship on which I would not easily give up just because of small things. Maybe I have a million reasons to leave – so many flaws, so many disappointments I have in mind. But no. Not this time. The old me would definitely say yes to another better choice. But the real me, me right now, as an actual human being at this period, learning from her experiences, for better or worse, absorbing her mistakes – chooses to stay – and it only takes one good reason.

Of all the good possibilities to say goodbye, I only have one very good reason to spend the rest of my days with you.


The little girl has always looked for a light to guide her through the dark tunnels of despair. She kept weeping, reaching out her hands for help. Anyone, anything can do. All she needs is just a pair of anticipation to open her eyes for a vivid, radiant future.

He came opening arms wide. Together they exchange each one gifts, where she started to put a smile, put a makeup, and dance freely, welcoming warm falling leaves, embracing life’s enticing blues, years gone by.

Just like life, but he too went away. Even sadder to have him around but losing sweet sparks on his eyes. “No, nothing to fear,” he wears a fake smile, she can swear.

“But the eyes. Those sorrow eyes can’t lie.”

Solitude appears, intimidating hopes. Has she went blind? she thought, as his hands constantly disappearing through grey fog, letting go of hers, vanishing like the mournful past.