After A Long Day

If I could finish a line or two on this writing tonight, which I started on the verge of tiredness and at the end of the day, I would be surprised to acknowledge how strong I really am.

One doesn’t need to endure the impact of concrete bumps, severe blows to the body, or salty drops of blood to understand the meaning of pain, injury and fatigue. The fact is that the simplest things like uncertainties and/or misfortunes of the fate of loved ones can be totally devastating to every heart. The absence of companion to share the day slowly wipes out any hopes. Losing the cause of laughter obviously makes loneliness such a loyal ally wherever you are.

Heck, this writing would not even exist if I was happy and felt the fulfillment of all desires. Being happy just doesn’t let my mind roams around and write about deep, appealing things – probably because my heart is bloomed with intense positive thoughts that creating smiles on my face while I’m listening to my favorite old tunes.

I mean I’m happy. The life that I’m living may only be a fantasy for many people. Then why do I seem to haven’t found something yet? Am I asking too much? Is it too high for me to reach?

Above all gratitude and peace in my life, I nevertheless still feel empty somewhere … though that doesn’t mean I would want to quit, cry and curse – I will be strong to earn it, even though I have to uncover the curtains of ashes and wash the dirt away.

If for them I project the image of a woman without blemish, or whether I am so sinful, they still don’t understand who I really am, and instead of trying to be they choose to stomp on the false impressions they want to keep: to make them feel better over their insecurities, I guess.

Depending on the others is not recommended by any paradigms but many people helplessly do that. They should have known that if someone makes himself his own hero to depend on then there should be so much destruction and loss to be prevented.

Darkness

Darkness is life’s fairness. A not so popular yet very significant element because it makes simple things challenging to see. Making your eyes blind though they are wide open. Keeping you searching even if it’s exhausting.

Darkness is the inevitable side on every line of life no matter what. In the dark sometimes you can’t be so strong for ever that your tears drip. Or getting lost on the open road. Or being scattered in the randomness of fantasy. Darkness isn’t pleasant to see (and you can’t really see it) but it gives you the opportunity to imagine colors and lights using only your brain and your heart – the most capable medium ever created to invent whatever you want.

Until that trumpet horns resonate, you will always be in the darkness of hopes and certainties. Teaching you that life is not designed to give you happiness, but instead chains of disappointment and pain. So there is this saying, “pleasure and happiness are actually trials.” For true life is the flood of sufferings that are written for all who were born.

But God doesn’t perfect the dark as an absolute misfortune that you must accept. Thus, on preferred nights, accompanied by a gentle breeze of wind you can enjoy a luminous night: when you let yourself bathed in a full-moon light – round, silvery, blazing.

Appreciating Life

So often my brain wanders to the innumerable corners of thoughts. So often I debated the points of view that others see about plenty of events. No, not great events or perhaps disasters commonly written on news or forums, but the simplest things like gratitude or compassion between a couple of humans.

Man, a paradoxical being, a combination of dust and glory. On them lays a virtue that will never be perfect. They will not even be superb doing evil stuff. This is why it takes the maturity of characters and the open mindset in dealing with the causes and effects of human behavior. Although there are billions of heads interacting to each other on this big, big world but at least they have one thing in common, an inescapable fact: humans are actually more horrible than ghosts, and also more joyful than the light of an angel.

This annoying imperfection, viewed from thousands of edges, will give a different light and that’s why humans are so perfect. And accepting all the shortcomings will be as rewarding as enjoying the advantages.

In Being with The One

Having a partner won’t make you entirely happy, but a couple, no matter how long you spend time together, no matter how well his position has been able to support your children and grandchildren, no matter how he has lost sheen of his forehead because life has always been repeatedly devastating his logic, will grow together and he is still your partner – the one who criticizes your choice of food or fiercely looks at you when you’re on arguments. The one who won’t hesitate to rebuke your indiscipline or hug you when you’re sick.

Being grateful for the existence of the person who is at your side and stays with your crazy ideas is really necessary, because not all humans can match each other and be comfortable with anyone; they need to be compatible in various views and have equal feelings – something that can’t be reasoned and measured. So be grateful for his scathing remarks, be grateful for his little time when he left work to drive you, be grateful for his efforts to equate perceptions.

However imperfect, however old you are, no matter how different your mindsets and life will be. He remains perfect, as a man should, above all good and bad that is part of him.