If I could finish a line or two on this writing tonight, which I started on the verge of tiredness and at the end of the day, I would be surprised to acknowledge how strong I really am.
One doesn’t need to endure the impact of concrete bumps, severe blows to the body, or salty drops of blood to understand the meaning of pain, injury and fatigue. The fact is that the simplest things like uncertainties and/or misfortunes of the fate of loved ones can be totally devastating to every heart. The absence of companion to share the day slowly wipes out any hopes. Losing the cause of laughter obviously makes loneliness such a loyal ally wherever you are.
Heck, this writing would not even exist if I was happy and felt the fulfillment of all desires. Being happy just doesn’t let my mind roams around and write about deep, appealing things – probably because my heart is bloomed with intense positive thoughts that creating smiles on my face while I’m listening to my favorite old tunes.
I mean I’m happy. The life that I’m living may only be a fantasy for many people. Then why do I seem to haven’t found something yet? Am I asking too much? Is it too high for me to reach?
Above all gratitude and peace in my life, I nevertheless still feel empty somewhere … though that doesn’t mean I would want to quit, cry and curse – I will be strong to earn it, even though I have to uncover the curtains of ashes and wash the dirt away.
If for them I project the image of a woman without blemish, or whether I am so sinful, they still don’t understand who I really am, and instead of trying to be they choose to stomp on the false impressions they want to keep: to make them feel better over their insecurities, I guess.
Depending on the others is not recommended by any paradigms but many people helplessly do that. They should have known that if someone makes himself his own hero to depend on then there should be so much destruction and loss to be prevented.